Helping the children of today become the adults of tomorrow

Holiday time is an opportunity to catch up with friends who have school-age children. It’s a revelation.

Choosing a secondary school can be complex. One friend set about it by creating five different spreadsheets, like it was an investment programme.

Her husband chatted to neighbours to find out what they were doing. The decision wasn’t easy. In the end they had to make the brave decision to choose the school that no one else down their street had chosen. I wonder how it will turn out.

At the same time, other friends are preparing for their daughter to go to university. Her four older siblings went and survived. But she’s facing increased costs and a fixed grant. Mum and dad will try to help out, but money is tight all round.

At this point it’s profoundly unhelpful to become nostalgic about what it was like ‘when I was young’. It isn’t like that anymore, certainly not in financial terms. But what is it like? And what can older people say or do that might help?

I’ve been thinking about what I would want from older people if I were young, carrying a huge student debt and no prospects of financial security.

A long-term, interest-free loan would be high up on the list. It’s when parents or grandparents can help financially that a significant social divide begins to appear.

But there are other things that can help.

One of them is building confidence. Acceptance and affirmation are like gold. So is the capacity to establish good routines.

Post-Covid, absenteeism has become a major issue in many schools. Overcoming all the challenges, and committing to daily attendance will pay dividends. It really will build social capital, the capacity to learn, and hope in the future.

The practice of Christianity is all about finding value worshipping with other people, that social routine that builds virtue, happiness and generosity – a great lesson for life.

Dates for your diary

Heritage Open Days, Friday, September 8 to Sunday, September 17

Across Sussex and indeed across the country there are a series of open days exploring our rich historical heritage in the first half of this month. Churches and other places of worship make up a significant proportion of this repository of beauty and history. For more information, please visit www.heritageopendays.org.uk

Exploring being in Covenant with God, Monday, September 11

Led by Alison Marchant at the Penhurst Retreat Centre near Battle in East Sussex, this relaxed, interactive day will explore what covenant originally meant in Bible times, how it has developed over the years and begin to uncover some of the amazing depth and riches of what it means for us personally to be in covenant with God. For more information, do visit the Events page on the Diocese of Chichester’s website.

Service for Black History Month, Chichester Cathedral, Saturday, October 7

At 11am on this day people from across Sussex will gather in the Cathedral to celebrate the rich diversity of humanity, with the guest preacher being Guy Hewitt, the Church of England’s first Racial Justice Director.