LAURA CARTLEDGE: Syria, cyclists and tiny dogs top the list of things I do not understand...

Laura Cartledge.
Laura Cartledge.

I PROMISED myself I wouldn’t write about Syria.

Which makes choosing a topic for my column more than a little tricky at the moment.

All I will say is that if military action is the answer – I’m not sure of the question.

An eye for an eye... means no-one sees clearly.

While the expense involved, when the money could be used to help those who need it instead...

But, as I said, I’m not writing about it.

It just seemed a fitting way to start a topic labelled ‘things I just do not understand’. Like little dogs.

You know the sort, you may have seen them in handbags, carried or even driven around in prams.

In fact they look as if they might grow handles or wheels at any point. And maybe even a useful pouch to keep spare coins in.

Yes, I know it is a personal preference and I am not disputing that dogs can bring a lot of benefits.

I’m just doubting these are dogs at all. If evolution had its way, they wouldn’t have made it.

Not without the help of a tiny pink puffer jacket, anyway.

I realise using the evolution argument has a flaw.

As a sun-intolerant, redhead, vegetarian I am not exactly top of the food table myself. But on the plus side, my dinner wouldn’t need chasing if we were going to get all caveman about it.

Eyelashes on cars are another gripe. Don’t even get me started on the ‘powered by fairydust’ stickers - it’s just false advertising which makes me angry.

Only a little less angry than selfish cyclists. Yes I know you have worked hard – just the thought of getting the lycra on exhausts me.

But do you need the whole lane?