KEITH NEWBERY So some politicians don’t tell us what they’re really thinking? Never....

Just when we were poised to enter that period of news impoverishment normally associated with the build-up to Christmas, along comes WikiLeaks with an early present for us all.

What fun there is to be had at the sight of the American government contorting itself into paroxysms of fury, guilt and indignation over the worldwide exposure of its diplomatic tittle-tattle.

It is almost as amusing as listening to the victims pretending to shrug off the insults while inwardly seething at the embarrassment they have endured.

But what real damage has this leak of classified American embassy cables done?

What secrets have been revealed about which we were supposed not to suspect a thing?

So the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is being compared to Hitler.

So North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Il, is described as a ‘flabby old chap,’ and there are plans to reunite Korea when the communist north eventually implodes.

So Italian prime minister, Silvia Berlusconi, is considered to be ‘feckless, vain and ineffective’ as a modern European leader.

Is there anyone with half a brain cell who hadn’t worked all this out for themselves?

Is there really anyone who clasped their hand over their mouth and muffled a squeal of shock upon learning that Prince Andrew had been described as ‘rude’ and ‘cocky’, or that American officials regard Russia as a corrupt mafia state?

Conspiracy theorists will think they’ve hit the mother lode, but these are not state secrets. They are merely confirmation of what everyone thought America was really thinking.

We’re all big boys and girls. We realise the darkest art of politics is the ability to say one thing while believing another.

For example, it is almost inevitable that in the fullness of time we will learn that David Cameron could never stand Vince Cable and regarded his presence in the government as a price which had to be paid if the coalition was to have a chance of working.

We will discover that Simon Hughes always regarded Nick Clegg as more right wing than the prime minister and couldn’t wait for the Con-Dem arrangement to collapse.

It doesn’t take a vast knowledge of current affairs to work this stuff out – just a basic understanding of human nature.

WikiLeaks? WikiDribbles more like.