KEITH NEWBERY: No excuse for Nadine’s jungle expedition

At some time during the next couple of weeks, we could well be offered the dubious privilege of watching one of our elected representatives gnawing on a kangaroo’s testicle.

This is the price Nadine Dorries (Con, Mid-Bedfordshire) could be paying to reinforce her reputation as one of Westminster’s mavericks, while simultaneously preparing the ground for her next career as a ‘celebrity.’

Her decision to squat by a campfire for up to three weeks with a cross-section of faded soap stars and surgically-enhanced airheads, was met with anger and irritation all round.

No sooner had she swanned off to Australia to take part in I’m a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here, than the sound of patrician feet being furiously stamped could be heard emanating from the whips’ office.

She has since been suspended from the parliamentary party – and also faces the possibility of being de-selected by her constituency.

This may all be academic, of course, because it’s strongly rumoured she intends to defect to UKIP upon her return anyway.

Ah yes, her return.

This could be delayed for some time, because MPs (mostly from her own party) are cheerfully promising to vote to keep her in this sanitised patch of sub-tropical rain forest.

They clearly believe munching witchetty grubs and attempting to engage in meaningful conversation with a pouting refugee from Coronation Street is no more than she deserves.

However, the ploy could well backfire.

La Dorries has already endeared herself to the nation by describing Messrs Cameron and Osborne as ‘arrogant posh boys who don’t know the price of milk’ – and she could turn out to be more popular with viewers than many think.

But she must first jettison her spurious attempts at self-justification.

‘I’m doing the show because 16 million people watch it and I believe MPs should be going to where people go,’ is a rancid excuse, even by political standards.

She has pledged to donate her fee to charity, thereby mitigating some of the annoyance caused by her unwarranted period of paid leave.

Even so, I suspect the boys from the Bullingdon Club will be watching the programme from behind their Chesterfield settees.

Dad’s Army’s old soldiers will never die

There will have been many people who read of Clive Dunn’s sad passing with surprise – because they thought he had died years ago.

So adept was Dunn at portraying old duffers, it’s difficult to believe he was still in his 40s when he first played Corporal Jones in Dad’s Army.

He became part of the most successful comedy ensemble in British television history – and though the show goes on forever, the same cannot be said of its stars.

ARP warden, Bill Pertwee, and vicar, Frank Williams, are still with us – but ‘stupid boy,’ Ian Lavender, is the only surviving member of the famous platoon.

But all have achieved a form of immortality as successive generations take them to their hearts.